Sleep, the Final Frontier

Many new mums with a tiny baby may be wondering how something so little can have such a huge impact on their sleep – or severe lack of it, says Natalie Pennicotte-Collier

Sleep is the very foundation of our health and wellbeing, so it’s understandable that parents may feel completely out of sorts when this is disrupted for any length of time – which is exactly what happens to new mums.

Any change to your usual sleep patterns can feel like such a shock to the system, whether you’re a first-time parent or are on your second, third or fourth child.

The first thing I tell new parents is that it is perfectly normal and OK to feel the pressure of sleep disruption. It is a short part of the journey for all parents and it will pass. But there are some small but really effective adjustments they can do to help them cope with their disrupted sleep pattern in this phase.

As part of my method, I am a great believer in micro-naps as these can really help to re-balance the effects of tiredness and the stress of all those increased hormones and heightened emotions.

A micro nap – without the distraction of any type of technology – for even 10 minutes is proven to lower stress levels and help you feel calmer and everything feel a little more manageable.

Self-care is also extremely important and by that, I mean ensuring that new mums and dads take some much-needed time for themselves. Rest and relaxation time becomes increasingly important with less sleep available, so, here are some simple steps you can take to support this.

Practice Mindful Kind

Being “mindful kind” is about being aware (mindful) that you need to be kinder to yourselves. The “mindful kind” approach ensures that parents recognise the need to take the time out of their busy days and nights to care for their mental health and wellbeing. This will result in a happier and more relaxed attitude to parenting and will help to develop a more positive home environment.

New mums are often so busy and focused on their new baby that they forget to allow time for themselves. But it is extremely important that they make a commitment to take time out for themselves EVERY day and to carry out some simple meditation and mindfulness relaxation techniques.

An easy way to start this relaxation is NOT to think about clearing your busy mind but instead to choose your focus. A classic body scan is an easy way to use your bed as your ‘calm zone’. Body scans always start with a focused attention to your feet first, slowly breathing as you work your way up to your head and in between your eyes. No matter what, this evidence-based easy mindfulness for mothers is a brilliant way to bring about some balance and gentle relaxation.

This can also be a useful ‘wakefulness tool’, if you are woken in an early hour and find it hard to slow your mind as you try to get back to sleep.

Step up your self-care routine

Even if you are feeling sleep deprived, you can gift yourself some time out to breathe, meditate or just rest. But, the important thing here is to put your phone or tablet away, for at least one session of relaxation time per day, as this will not help you to get any shut eye, nor will it aid your relaxation.

Take micro-naps

Micro-sleeps can be very powerful as they can help your body to recharge as they provide optimal rest and brain nap time.

Research has proven that even 10 minutes of napping supports your calm and nervous system, so set an alarm for no more than 35 minutes and use an eye mask as a blackout if your room is not dark enough. Sleeping over this amount of time may make you feel groggy and could disrupt night-time sleep patterns.

In the early days, do feel free to allow yourself as many micro-naps as possible instead of reaching for your technology all the time and increasing your blue light exposure. And if you are struggling to drop off to start with, simply use the body scan technique to allow your body time to relax.

Getting into a freshly made bed has been proven to have a huge effect on positive psychology and this in turn improves the quality of your sleep. Once you are in bed, ensuring that your pillows offer the right level of support, your duvet is of the correct tog rating for the time of year and that you adopt the most comfortable sleeping position will all help too.

To create the right setting the ideal bedroom should be between 17-19 o C, totally dark for sleeping in and as technology and clutter free as possible, especially near the bedside.

Plan in when you want to take your micro-nap, so you know it is ‘protected’ time for you. This can either be when baby is asleep, or when you have arranged for another adult to look after them – and remember, this can be during the day or in the evening.

Create a ‘zen’ den

The bedroom is a perfect place to create a tranquil, calming space away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the house, where you can focus on some positive thinking time. This can be achieved by keeping the bedroom tidy and clutter-free, using subtle lighting and by choosing colour-schemes which instantly lift your mood.

Don’t beat yourself up

Overall, a “mindful kind” approach will ensure that parents are gentler to themselves and don’t add worry and stress and extra pressure on themselves over the lack of sleep they – or their baby – might be getting. Dwelling on it and worrying about it can create a downward cycle that is hard to get out of because heightened stress often means less sleep. Pay good attention to quality micro rest and naps and both you and baby will gradually get into a rhythm.

It’s not easy but it really is a benefit if you can go with the flow, refrain from comparing your child’s sleep with others and generally be more relaxed about your approach to baby’s sleep patterns.

Natalie Pennicotte-Collier Natalie is a maternal mental health specialist across the UK and is now the sleep expert for British luxury bed manufacturer Hypnos, which has over 100 years’ experience in creating hand-crafted, supremely comfortable, bespoke beds. For more information about Hypnos, visit here