Research shows that 83% of women will experience pain when having sex during the first three months after having a baby, with this lasting up to six months for a further 64%.
However, just 15% of these women seek medical help on the matter with the information available for those that do, far from comprehensive.
This shrouded attitude towards postnatal sex was the motivation for Clio Wood, writer, postnatal wellbeing activist and &Breathe founder, to get women to open up about the issue.
Here are her top five tips for postnatal sex for those struggling to reignite the spark post-birth.
Woods top 5 Tips to help you to re-ignite the spark
Wait ’til you’re ready
Let’s not beat around the bush, it’s no wonder that you might not be in the mood for sexy time quite yet.
Everyone is different when it comes to sex and this doesn’t change just because you’ve had a baby: if you are up to it, that’s great; if not, give yourself time to recover, as you would from any (big!) injury or ailment.
Take it steady
Babies take up a lot of time, so sex is pretty hard to fit in these days, especially when coupled with the severe lack of sleep.
Plus you might need a minute (or 60) to get into the mood so dedicate some time to it. Going from baby to booty call isn’t an easy transition, so foreplay is more important than ever for you to feel aroused.
As Esther Perel, renowned psychotherapist says: “Foreplay starts the minute sex ends.”
Breastfeeding and postnatal hormones mean lubrication levels are low after birth (and sometimes beyond). Don’t be ashamed of using lubrication, it’s there for your pleasure and can increase
passion levels significantly.
There are even superb organic brands out there now.
Your birth story and transition to motherhood may leave you with birth trauma or (as for one in five new mothers) postpartum mood disorders such as depression or anxiety.
Unsurprisingly this may affect your libido. There is help out there, so ask for a referral (or pay privately) to see a counsellor or therapist. It will make a world of difference.
You’re not alone
Above all, if you’re not feeling the vibe, know that you’re not alone. Even if it feels like everyone else is back at it like rabbits, the chances are that most couples are going through similar things, so take their bravado with a bucketful of salt.
For further information on &breathe click here.
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